Things I take from my friends

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or so I have been told. But there was certainly a time when someone being a copycat was annoying and far from flattering. As I have grown, and developed my own style and way of doing things, I have become more and more comfortable in taking the express train on so many decisions that friends have forged a path down first. Some are delightful examples and others, dire warnings, but regardless, I benefit from their experiences.

My beloved, and locally famous, super automatic cappuccino and latte maker…lifted from my oldest, dearest friend.

The giant bottles of shampoo and conditioner with a pump in my master bath…lifted from a dear friend I have been so fortunate to reconnect with after a period of time we lost touch.

Barbequing a chicken to get the taste of the grill and then finishing it inside a day or two later…taken from a friend who has a husband that struggles with ‘cooking outside’.

Folding a set of sheets neatly inside a pillowcase so all the pieces are there when needed….gosh, I don’t even remember, but I know that someone showed me, I did not create that approach.

The things I take from my friends are all highly valued by me. It might be the savings in time or effort, it might be the delightful memory of using that item or experiencing that moment with them. The things I take from my friends are not always things….but the emotions of forgiveness, of caring, of being cared for and of being allowed to minister to them and in turn be ministered to when we are in that deep, dark aching hour of need that seems to stretch into days and weeks and months at time. But to a friend, it’s just an hour of loving you through the ache, hurt, pain or loss. It is that person who will let you be balled up in bed, unwashed hair and several day old pajamas and soothing words telling you everything is going to be all right one day. Though they don’t tell you which day. Just one day.

The things I take from my friends are the tools I put in my own kit to be there for others, to gird up my own loins, to feel ready to battle whatever comes my way….work, husband, leaky roof, truculent teen…the been there done that from others I care about gives me the strength to go there and do that. It’s not without a price. Sometimes it is I who has forged the way for others. That I have been that great example or that dire warning. It’s far more fun and rewarding to be the former, but somehow I feel my relationship grow when it’s the latter, because we can commiserate and laugh and deeply bond sharing stories of how we’ve overcome the challenges of our journeys in a way that the big wins don’t quite possess.

The things I take from my friends, I endeavor to give back in spades. I pray that I gave at least as well as I got, that I loved as much or more than I was loved and that all the things I was looking for in life really were not things, but the moments and minutes that bind us in that most amazing and inextricable way…through heartstrings that stretch and pull, but never break. Years may go without a word, but I’ll take them always in my heart.

That is what I take more than anything else…where ever I go, however long it takes to get there...I take my friends.