The weight that is so very hard to lose

A few years ago I realized that I was beginning to feel stifled and weighed down by the things in my life. The home I once saw filled with treasures had morphed into a hugely heavy weight about my neck. The keeping up with it all was becoming too much and I realized that I had to make a change. But the thing I did not realize was how resistant others would be to my change. 

The first thing I did was buy a smaller home about an hour from the big home. I said it was a getaway home, but I am beginning to realize that it was to get away from all the heaviness of the big house and the weight of the things and their time and effort to maintain it all, keep track of it and even feel that I was even utilizing it. 

When I moved into the smaller home I bought very little for it. A table and chairs for the dining room and a small entertainment center were the first items.  I brought a bed from the big house to sleep on and even reduced the number of sheets and comforters. I had a really spartan existence here and loved it!

Then the time came, after our youngest graduated and my husband moved here that more items also came. A sofa and chair, a front room table and chairs for that and I started to feel that even this house was becoming too full of 'stuff' and I realized that I have an affinity for certain things and a revulsion to others. 

Clothing I can take on in great volume, mostly because I can see that easily being taken to a charity after my passing and not causing any angst for my family to remove and move on. 

But other things, such as decor or special finds on a trip or things that spoke to me in the moment....those are the things I worry that my family will hem and haw over and not know what to do with. Or (worse?) just discard without a thought and never really know or recognize how much I enjoyed that item. 

I have reached the age where I realize that death is a reality. The subconscious has caught up to my conscious and there will be no escaping this final breath in this life. That my body and soul will part ways and while I don't believe it is going to be in the very near future-you never really know. Many someones left their homes this morning with thoughts of what they would do when they returned that night...and never will. Car accidents, heart attacks, building collapse...they are all possible and I am realizing that I am not immune to checking out much earlier than intended. 

So I am endeavoring to slim down the things in my life as much as I have endeavored to slim down me. Oddly, it was a bit easier to lose the body weight than to move on from the inanimate collective.  The items I have chosen to surround myself with need to bring joy and not smother or weigh me down. The ability to surrender to the trash or donation box when something has stopped bringing joy or serving a useful purpose is one I am working on, sometimes diligently and sometimes less so. 

In the coming months I am going to try to be more purposeful in my shedding things and hopefully feel much lighter by summer!
 

Eating on the road

When I travel to a place like San Francisco, as I recently did for a full week, I have the blessing of some of the most amazing, inventive and wonderful restaurants in the world from which to choose for my meals. My expense account is such that unless I was to truly go overboard with an exceptionally expensive restaurant each evening, I could eat 21 meals in 7 days at remarkably fantastic places and still not even have touched the top 1% of eateries in the city.  But if I do that, my pants are going to get tight and I only travel with fitted clothing, so I need to find something that works more for truly healthful and serving appropriate sizes for the majority of my meals. I will admit, I did have my beloved Chicken Tikka Masala twice in a week, and after serving myself, asked for to-go packaging so that I could share the meal with a homeless person on the way home. One other night I met a colleague for a meal at a new favorite restaurant.

But what about the remainder of the time, the other 18 meals and 12 snacks?

This particular week I chose to do a grocery shopping trip on Sunday and refresh again on Wednesday.

My Sunday list included:

Mache Rosettes

Butter lettuce

Pear

Orange

Plum

4 bananas

8 oz of dried Mission figs

Dill chevre

Three packets of protein powder

½ lb of USA bay shrimp

.75 lbs of salad items

.5 lb of chili verde from the hot bar

Yumbutter

2 orange and ginger Icelandic yogurt (skyr)

.25 lbs of thick rolled oats from the bulk bins

Havarti cheese slices

Avocado

8 pieces of sushi

8 oz of mushroom and barley soup

Unsweetened vanilla cashew milk

8 oz of artisan bread and butter pickles with onion slices

For my salad base I chose shredded cabbage, peas, mushrooms, beets, parmesan, wheatberries and chopped egg.

Monday morning I took ½ the container of mache and added 1/3 of the contents of the salad base as well as 1 oz of the dill chevre, 1/3 of the avocado and a large forkful of the chile verde.  I shook it all together in a quart size baggie I brought with me and put it in the fridge at work for lunch that day.

Breakfast was a vanilla latte made with Tera’s Whey organic vanilla protein powder, 12 oz of dark coffee and 8 oz of cashew milk. Hydrating, 20 grams of protein and a wonderfully flavored treat. Because protein will clump up if mixed with hot liquids typically, I mix the cold cashew milk and powder first and then add the brewed coffee. If I’d thought of it, a dash of cinnamon would have been nice, but I already had my lid on my Tervis tumbler and just skipped it. I set aside a pear for my morning snack.

That night for dinner I added 2 oz of shrimp to the mushroom barley soup. I checked the macros and calories on the soup before buying it as soup can be either a calorie friend or foe quite easily.  This one happened to be a friend-high in fiber, moderate amount of protein and water based so very low in calorie. It was wonderful, even reheated, and the addition of the shrimp was wonderful. I ate it with one of the bananas and two sushi pieces.

Tuesday I went with a chocolate latte, shrimp in the salad instead of pork and a larger portion of mache plus 4 cut up figs and a slice of Havarti diced up into the salad.  For dinner I finished off the sushi and an orange along with a protein bar I’d brought from home. I ate the first two items before my run, the bar once I’d come home.

Wednesday resulted in a quick trip to the grocery to pick up a few more things, like a new carton of cashew milk. I also bought more salad mix as I was down to nearly no mache and low on proteins for salad as well.  Grilled chicken, bay shrimp and roasted turkey were the choices for this trip. I chose a butternut and apple bisque for my soup and it was so delightfully filling with a great deal of fiber but still needed protein. I selected 3 oz of grilled chicken to go with my soup. I had a banana with a tablespoon of Yumbutter on it after my run. The Yumbutter had a mix of flax, chia and peanut butter and wow, was it ever good!  It comes in a pouch you knead to mix it all together and then squeeze out as needed and close with a cap. I understand they make an almond butter variety as well. Pricey, but I will buy it again because I really enjoyed it and for travel it is mess free!! I put a tablespoon on each banana I enjoyed for the remainder of my trip. You squeeze it in a pencil size ribbon and no knife is needed!

I bought a few more of the Tera’s Whey packets and took a chance with blueberry, which is a flavor I’ve not tried in a protein shake before! I did not get around to trying that one, but will in the coming week and update if this is a thumbs up or down item for me.

I finished the avocado in three days and chose to not get another this trip. By cutting it into small pieces and shaking it in with my salad, I find I have no need for any dressing and get that lovely, creamy taste disbursed throughout my salad.

One interesting thing that happened during 4 of 5 lunches was that at least one person commented to me that my salad was ‘amazing’ or ‘fabulous’ or something along those lines and asked where I got it. When I told them I’d made it in my hotel room and brought it in they were surprised, to say the least. I put it on a plate to enjoy it and took time to really focus on my food, not eating during a call or while having someone in my office. I would rather spend 20 minutes quietly focused on and enjoying my food than grabbing a bite here and there and eating without enjoyment or recognition of the nutrition going into my body.

Sometimes you just need a snack and I chose to mix it up with chevre on butter lettuce, pickles topped with bits of Havarti or a piece of fruit for the majority of my snacks outside of meals. I find that if I eat 5 times a day I feel well fueled and don’t approach a meal with tremendous hunger, simply a need to fuel my body. I pay attention to my thirst vs. hunger as well. Often I’ll think I need to get some food and then look at the clock and realize I shouldn’t be hungry. So I will get 24 oz of liquid and find most of the time I am not at all hungry once I’ve had that hydration. Now, when it is close to an eating time I will usually drink 12 oz of liquid first and then eat because I find if I am well hydrated I enjoy my food more slowly and have greater satiety for a longer period of time as well.

In a future post I will share what I did with my choices the three meals that I did eat out.

Breakfast out, but not really

During my most recent trip to San Francisco I had a breakfast meeting with two key colleagues one morning and with another on a subsequent day.  

One breakfast was at a restaurant that I find challenging to make good choices and frankly, wasn’t willing to waste the calories on the carb bombs they serve as the bulk of their menu. They do, however, have a phenomenal tea selection and local honey to put in the tea. So while others chose 800+ calorie meals, I had a large tea with a teaspoon of honey.  I had already enjoyed a protein latte at 6a after coming back from a 6 mile run, so I was still quite fine and feeling fully fueled when we met shortly after 8a.  I tried a new tea and it’s on my favorite rotations now! Mighty Leaf African Nectar. It is my second favorite tea and watch out Yogi Perfect Energy…it might bump you out of the top spot soon!

There seem to be two schools of thought when I don’t have something traditional or expected when I dine with others. One is to be somewhat pecked to death on why I should eat what they are eating, the other is to ask me about my choices and the benefits. I had a session of each this week. The two ladies were a bit mystified that a, I wasn’t charging a big breakfast to my expense account and b, that I was satisfied by 20 oz of tea. I did remind them that I was keeping to an eastern time zone schedule for sleep and waking and had been up for more than 4 hours at that point, which seemed to satisfy them for a bit. But I could tell they really would have preferred me to eat alongside them. 

The other happened the very next morning. The person with whom I was meeting had said he brought his breakfast in and did he mind if we ate in his office as we discussed the topic at hand. I brought a protein latte to sip and he was fascinated that I was eating healthy on the road and we took a segue way down the nutrition path for about 10 minutes. I could tell he was genuinely interested and he had a breakfast of uncooked oatmeal, berries and yogurt…something I do a great deal of the time and find exceptionally filling.  So many feel they must soak those oats in boiling water, but wow are they ever filling when simply mixed with yogurt!  I’ll even sprinkle unflavored protein powder based on my needs for that day.  

The interested corollary I drew was that the first two people both lamented at least 20 lbs to lose and were a bit bothered by my healthy choices while the other colleague is quite fit, focused on healthy choices and was highly supportive of my desire to do the same regardless of being at home or away. He was leaving later that day for two nights out of town and told me I’d given him great ideas to incorporate on the road. Going to the grocery store when traveling is seemingly anathema to so many. Unless they understand the value to their health and then it becomes a viable, sought out solution. This colleague was traveling to a city I’d been in late last year and was staying at the same hotel I’d chosen there. So I was easily able to share where the walking distance grocery store was and how the hotel was set up (full size fridge in a kitchenette) that made it ideal for healthful eating. 

When I stay in a place as I recently did in SF where I have to empty out the mini-bar and store things in a miniscule fridge or cart larger items into the office and use a communal fridge, it has a bit more of a challenge, but still have not come to one I could not make work. Even those that do not regularly have a fridge in the rooms have always provided one to me for asking and never with a fee, though I do hear of folks having to pay a small charge at some hotels for a fridge. 

I think it is easy to say that you are on the road and eating out and just didn’t have a choice about healthy eating. But that’s an excuse. First, even at the carb bomb restaurant I could have made a good--though higher calorie--breakfast option, it just would have not been my first choice and I went with my first choice. Second, if you are making healthy eating and lifestyle choices then really there IS no choice about not doing so when on the road. Doesn’t matter if you travel one day a year or 364 of them, what’s more important to you than you? And why would you make a poor choice about YOU?

So what are some of the best tips you have for eating healthy on the road? I’d love to hear about them!

It's not all about the pasta

So why do people think they need it?

When I began making better choices about the food I fuel my body with, pasta very quickly came under fire as a poor choice for me. It left me feeling icky, was calorie laden without a lot of nutritional value and didn’t offer positives to counterbalance those negatives.

An interesting ‘ah ha’ moment happened when I was talking to someone about my considering giving up pasta. Ohhhhhhhh, noooooooooo, they lamented as though I’d said I was going to give up air or sleep. You can’t do THAT! And they began to wax poetic about how fabulous pasta was. What they didn’t realize, or at least I don’t believe they realized it…was in their monologue they never actually mentioned pasta. They talked about sauces and meats and cheeses and seasonings and various garlic methods and even a bit of bread…but pasta never once left their lips! It was a 100 watt bulb that went off for me and I’ve appreciated it for almost two years now!

I started preparing a number of my long standing Italian dishes without the pasta. My husband, who was also on a journey to be his healthy best, was fully in agreement to see what I could create that was a pasta free, pasta dish. A bit of an oxymoron, but much of what these dishes are named, have pasta as a featured part of that. Lasagne for example.

So I make Mockzanya.

Sausage, beef, chicken, clam, vegetable—they are all still things I layer with mozzarella, sauce and ricotta but no pasta.  Guess what I don’t miss at all? Guess what relatively few people have ever mentioned missing when they have been served that? And one person even remarked it was a less heavy feeling lasagna than they had eaten in the past. BINGO!

Macaroni and cheese was tougher, to be sure. I mean you can’t really serve just cheese sauce, though there are days that option does sound lovely. But by taking the time to cut up cauliflower into tiny florets and then parboiling it before mixing it with the cheese mixture and baking it in the oven resulted in a really excellent mock mac and cheese. I found that I used a bit more garlic, nutmeg and high quality cheeses to craft the base for this dish than I did when I used elbow macaroni. I also find that it is less enjoyable stove top, one that really needs to be baked, get that amazing crust and have the extra cooking time for the cauliflower to be just right. If my husband is not eating it, I will add a layer of diced tomatoes on top before baking it and then sprinkle cheese on that to achieve the delightful crust, but as he is anti-tomato unless it is whirred into a spaghetti or pizza sauce, that is not a choice when he’s eating with me.

I know I've written about this previously, but conversations I've had recently have led me to renew this subject. I encourage you to make a dish you normally put pasta in without and let me know what you thought!

The magic of cookies

I shared this on Facebook recently, but was asked to put it here as well, so here it is...

I went to San Francisco for work recently. Due to restrictions on what hotels I can use and what I am allowed to pay per night, my pickings were pretty slim for places I knew and had previously enjoyed positive experiences while staying there.  I was not in the mood to be adventurous with my hotel choice given the daunting task of the work ahead of me during that week in my favorite US city.

The hotel I chose was deep in the Tenderloin district and while it had the nice benefit of being 1.1 miles from work so that I got a nice walk in before and after my business day, it also has the downside of being rife with, in my opinion, the most economically disadvantaged of the city.  Walking from the BART station, which is how I get from the airport to downtown, was 9 solid blocks of being asked for money though one enterprising man did offer to sell me socks…brand new, he noted!

Not quite raining, but more than drizzling, I hurried to my hotel, wanting to avoid becoming a soggy mess but unable to zip by those requesting assistance without at least taking a moment to decline their offer to give money…but it just seems so wrong to ignore as if unheard.

I also wanted to get a planned run in and had to take advantage of the break in the downpour that had been falling as we landed.  Thankful for the reprieve, for those like me that wanted to be outside, from the Pineapple Express deluge!  Once I checked in I hurried to change into my running gear and headed out the door. I’d taken only three strides when I was stopped and asked for money. I used my hands to outline my body, showing that I had nothing on me…I’d come without my running belt so I was carrying my room card key in my bra, phone in hand and otherwise had nothing on me and yet the begging persisted until I made it several blocks up to California Street and could really open up and fully run without being stopped by those actively seeking monetary assistance.  

An hour and a half later, I returned to the hotel…and you likely guessed it…panhandled actively from the moment I got back to the Tenderloin until I walked into the hotel.  This was going to be an at least twice daily phenomenon. What to do, what to do?

Kismet, in the form of having forgotten a toiletry item, took me to a Walgreens where I saw a large, individually wrapped chocolate chip cookie marked down to 25c.  I read the label. It wasn’t healthy by any means, but I’ve surely seen worse. And then it struck me. Cookies for a quarter!  I asked how many they had and the guy jokingly replied how many do you want? 100. 100? Yep, 100!

25.00 later…no tax which the cashier and I both found odd…I walked out of the store with 100 cookies neatly stored in my bag and a smile on my face. I said “Have a good day!” and the cashier said “Have a good giving” and in that moment I was struck that it was exactly my plan—to have a good giving!  

Using my favorite Thirty One bag, I was able to load up a dozen in the outside pockets and placed on in my right hand and had the bag over my left shoulder and walked down the street. As I was asked for anything, I would ask if I could give them a cookie. I had one decline from a man who thought it would be too hard for him to chew and otherwise I watched people take it with smiles that day. And many that said thank you.

So the next morning I was able to give 11 away on the way to the office, some handed with conversation, some left beside wrapped, sleeping forms in doorways, hoping they’d discover a surprise and have a smile upon waking.

Home, another 9 given out and so on each day…coming and going with cookies handed out regularly along the way.

And I also realized that part of what I enjoyed was the smile from the recipient. Certainly, I appreciate a thank you, but saw the smiles that came from deep within so many. Thursday morning I rounded Post for a left onto Kearney and nearly ran into a man standing in filthy rags, his face deeply grimy but with the most beautiful, soulful blue eyes. A man who had once been handsome in his youth, of this I am sure, but time and lack of basic personal care had taken a toll on him. “COOKIE GIRL!” I was a little surprised he remembered me, but I surely had recalled those eyes from Monday night.  I asked if he’d like another and he said he would if I didn’t mind giving him another.

I’m often so struck by the majority of those so deeply in need that still don’t want to take more than ‘their share’ and yes there are exceptions and some that would do a grab of all they can get, the vast majority are mindful that they had some while others had none. I had two left in my bag and asked if he’d like them both. He said he’d share it with someone and told him that was his choice, but I was giving them to him.

A few blocks later I turned right on California and walked into my climate controlled office. I thought of that man and how he’d likely be incredibly aware of the temperature, the ability to wash my hands before making a new cup of tea. The ability to use a restroom when the urge struck. The ability to safely store my lunch in a fridge without worry of it being there later or inadequate for my needs. The ability to go and get more food if I so needed or desired. It stirred up again the questions I have long been asking myself. How can I, or anyone for that matter, really and truly HELP the homeless.

I don’t know the answer. Oh how I wish that I did. Or that someone did.

I don’t know how to bring the homeless issue to a conclusion of housing for all that want it. Food for all that need it. Jobs for those willing. Quality nutrition for everyone. Mental health care for those who need it.  The list goes on and on.  And while I’ve often given out more substantial food than a cookie, that was what I went with this particular week. If I can bring a smile to a face and put a cookie in a hand, then that is what I will do.

What will you do?